He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize