I cannot find my penis.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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