Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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