so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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