Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
