if i can run in heels then i can drive
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
