remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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