Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
