So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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