What a fucking waste of an outfit
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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