I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
