I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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