Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
