We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
