Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
