i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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