Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
