Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
