I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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