We won't sleep together?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
