I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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