About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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