I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
