My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
