One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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