1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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