I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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