Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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