we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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