Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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