the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
