walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
