Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
