How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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