On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
