but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
