I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
