are you so shy because you have an std?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
