Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
