YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my phone needs a breathalizer
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
