So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
