I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
