She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
