I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize