Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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