I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
