Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
