I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
