Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Every concussion has its silver lining
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
