____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
