We won't sleep together?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
