he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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