I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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