She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
