Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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