i think i have two assholes
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
