my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize